Whole night, my dark thoughts keep me awake
During the day, smiles are all that I fake
I’m trying to get a grip
While my control continues to slip
Counting down the hours at night
Waiting to see the sunlight
I hope that the worst has ended
That my mental health had been defended
It’s just me against the world
Laying on the floor in a fetus curl
Defeated, beaten, and destroyed
Feels like in my heart there’s a void
I’m trying to fend off my dark thoughts
It feels like my brain and depression are in cohorts
Teaming up to beat me black and blue
How do I defeat this, I don’t have a clue
I’m taking it small steps at a time
I know it’s a huge mountain to climb
But I’ll make it
If I don’t, then I’ll fake it
Like I always do
The world never had a clue
What I was going through
How much I grew
Fighting through storms and rain
Trying to hide my pain
Trying to be beat depression
It’s hopeless. it’s a losing session
Like fighting to stop the sunset
It would only leave you sad and upset
Everyone says I just smile more
They don’t understand my mind. I should give them the tour
Dive in at mental struggles at its core
It’s so dark and gloomy it will leave you abhor
In my brain, it’s like a battlefield with two losing sides
It’s so messy and destructive, like when two nuclear bombs colides
A total blood bath
An apocalyptic aftermath
It’s scary and disorienting
Like quicksand my mind is descending
It’s pulling everything around me underground
Trapped in darkness, the light could never be found
So try and make it one day in my shoe
Maybe then you’ll have a clue
Of my true misery and pain
The world is filled with happiness, and I’m the Bane
My trauma has molded me to become who I am
It’s Marching me to the butcher, and I’m the lamb
I don’t think when I write rhymes
I just zone out and let my soul make lines
Everyone is saying I should write happier poems
All my stuff depressing is like dark omens
But this is the real me
Writing is my therapy
I got to let it all out
Spiew all this hatred out of my mouth
I can’t let it fester and build
Because it will overtake my free will
And force me to stuff I have no control over
By then, it would be all over.