This darkness is draining me
On a cold familiar road I see
The sunken place
A bland taste
A feeling of not coming out this bed
A feeling of being trapped in my head
My body’s feeling sore and weak
For strength and motivation I seek
It’s strange even the good memories feel sad
My brain’s downplaying every achievement I ever had
So now it all feels worthless
I don’t know what to do to make it hurt less
Imagine being trapped alone with a bully
You fight but it’s never defeated fully
That’s how it feels in my brain
It just keeps replaying the pain
Your mind is the biggest enemy
So you take a zoloft and wash it down with Hennessey
The insomnia now steps in
And it feels like the darkness is starting to win
Your mind is so loud but the world is silent
You’re losing the fight and it isn’t even violent
You feel like you have no value to this world
That’s how this cold darkness swirl
And pull you under
Feels like your world has no more wonder
No excitement or purpose
Only pain and sadness in surplus
No one would understand if you try to explain
It’s not physical they can’t see the pain
They would say it’s all in your brain
Now you have to defend that you’re not insane
It’s better to keep all inside
Bottle all your problems and hide
The world just doesn’t understand
Plus you’re supposed to be the man
We don’t have the luxury of being depressed
Of saying I need a mental day to rest
So we power through it all
Clinging to the edge hoping not to fall
And we push through the day
While watching every single word we say
So we don’t give away
The feeling of sadness and dismay
It’s a routine you see
To act as happy as you can be
Maybe if you make someone else smile
It would easy up your brain for a little while